Finally someone that speaks english!

So we got stood up Wednesday and Thursday with DirecTV and Friday I decided that we would call Comcast or Dish to see which one could get here fastest. Dish said they would have someone install first thing Saturday morning. With Sherrie finally getting religion and all we wanted to be able to watch conference at home, so Saturday morning would be best. I told her I would not tolerate scheduling an appointment and them flaking on us, and she assured me that they would either be there first thing Saturday morning or else installation and our first month were free. I woke up at 7 on Saturday and it was raining. I thought for sure they would flake. At exactly 8:00 the doorbell rang and in came a 350 pound man. No joke, I'm surprised the ladder held him up. Anyway, we got all hooked up, DVR and all. Now when we bring our kid home from the hospital we can expose him  to all the language, violence, and sex on TV. Well, violence and sex anyway. Sherrie has the language covered. Sunday during a spiritual session the channel would change, with nobody touching the remote. I took it as a sign from the Lord to watch the football game instead, but it turns out a neighbor has Dish and their remote was working on our TV. Also turns out that our receiver box is upstairs and TV downstairs, due to the low-grade cable in the walls of our house. Low grade is OK from the TV to the receiver, but high grade is required from receiver to Dish. 

So, today I called Dish and the guy walked me through a few things and said that it would be hard to tell if anything worked because the TV was not in the same room as the receiver. I went up and down the stairs about 50 times while talking to him, and he thought everything worked. So I assumed everything worked and went with my wife to the doctor's office to see about having a baby. More on that later.

It turns out that the first Dish guy's method didn't work. So I called again tonight. The automated menu took about 30 minutes. Press 1 for english, 2 espanol, bla bla bla. Why can't they just put a receptionist on the line to help me? Finally the phone rang and I got to speak with a representative, but wait. I could barely understand him. "I pressed 1 for english," I said. "I am english," was his pakistani reply. Right off the bat I knew it wasn't going to work. We went through the whole process about 7 times, all while he asked me if we could hook another TV up to the receiver upstairs. So at least 8 times I explained to him, in perfect english mind you, that we only owned 1 TV and that it was heavy and located downstairs. He had me do a few things and wouldn't you know, now nothing would work. TV came on and off, and volume worked fine. Other than that we had nothing. No channel changing, no menu, nada. He finally says we can't do anything until a TV is hooked up to the receiver upstairs. I hung up pissed off and humped that heavy mother upstairs, rewired it, then called again, and the automated menu only took 10 minutes this time. After all of that my patience was running on reserve and then, like a tender mercy, the rep came on and it was some chick with a southern accent. "Thank you for speaking english," I said. She laughed a little, had me push record on both remotes 3 times, and it was fixed. All that wiring and hauling and cussing and all I needed to do was push record 3 times. Damn Pakistanis! Well now it works just fine.

Oh, about the baby thing. He manually dialated her to a whopping 1 today. I'm sure Sherrie loved that, but at least the doc is trying to help. He said technically it could come any moment, but probably not. We'll go in Friday to see if he can strip her membranes, and if not then Monday is the big day. Maybe I should have made her carry the TV back and forth......